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So Dr. Boli  [http://drboli.wordpress.com] is at it again with his sometimes bizarre, sometimes comic, and sometimes delightfully pointed sense of fun. Are the following advertisements from his Celebrated Magazine poking fun at our pretty much illiterate generation? Just maybe.

  • “The Blandville Branch Library will offer a one-hour talk entitled “What Is a Book?” on Saturday, May 2, at 1 p.m. The audience will have the opportunity to see and handle several books after the talk.”
  • “THE BLANDVILLE BRANCH Library will be having a Giant Book Sale beginning Monday and continuing until all the books are gone. The Library staff have decided that the Library can no longer afford to maintain a collection of books when computer workstations are so expensive.”
  • “The Community Television Viewers’ Association will be offering a free workshop all day Tuesday. With the Internet rapidly overtaking television in popularity, we are concerned that the skills required to absorb purely passive entertainment are being lost. Third-generation television viewers will be on hand to teach you the secrets to a rewardingly inert television-viewing experience. “

One reader funnily commented about the last two announcements, ”I fear that you may have inadvertently posted real news in the [above] paragraphs. Please try harder at parody and satire in the future.”

The Bottom Line: People do not read anymore; instead, they spend time on distracting social networking sites like Facebook. This has disastrous effects on personal lives. This will have a disastrous effect on culture at large. If reading continues to decrease and writing to deteriorate, we shall all soon be certifiable barbarians. Which somehow doesn’t appeal to me.

Are you aware that 20% of our high school graduates can be classified as functionally illiterate?

Does this perhaps have something to do with the fact that boys and girls read, on average, a mere 30-40 minutes a day?

Compare this with the fact that American children ages 8-18 devote about 8 hours a day to entertainment media (television, computers, smart phones, etc.) Keep in mind that this does not take texting and talking on the phone into consideration.

You just can’t have it all. If it’s true that you don’t have to burn the books to destroy a culture, you just have to stop people from reading them, then we’re not looking at a pleasant future. And really, if you are spending eight hours a day on “entertainment media”, when are you engaging your mind in real learning? I think this helps to explain the quality (well, lack thereof) of the kind of conversation that takes place on Facebook.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION

The AFLI monitors its comments and will publish anything so long as it is not a) entirely irrelevant, b) obscene, or c) clearly written by a space alien. Therefore we ask that you please keep your comments family friendly. You can contact the venerable AFLI at antifacebookleague@gmail.com Do you have an anti-facebook story, poem, piece of art, etc. that you would like to share with an enthusiastic audience? Email the AFLI and we will consider publishing your work.

Favorite Anti-Facebook Quotes

"I told him he was a very sad man, that collecting Facebook friends is the equivalent of being a catlady, collecting numerous Himalayans, which you have neither the time nor the inclination to feed. "You have obviously never been on Facebook," he said. "It's so much worse than collecting cats." (Matt Labash)

One recent piece of research shows that “periodically checking your e-mail lowers your cognitive performance level to that of a drunk." (James Bowman)

"Internet software can be used as parasocietal mechanisms for the observation of online interactions. Online social networks allow for high levels of surveillance." (Susan B. Barnes)

"There are a hundred means of communication, and there is nothing to communicate.” (G.K. Chesterton)

“This... nicely catches the nuances of the ‘Facebook addict’ type: an anti-social, agoraphobic, ‘low maintenance’ lurker who is also a passive-aggressive and voyeuristic stalker accumulating useless social capital.” (Meaghan Morris)

"Facebook is a worldwide pie-stealing phenomenon that needs to be put behind bars." (Yours Truly)

"Oddly enough, Facebook has little to do with faces and nothing to do with books." (Mike C.)

“Modern societies must decide what their loves truly are — or else technology itself will entrap them in what is merely feasible.” (Michael Novak)

"Today we believe our machines allow us to know a lot more, and in many ways they do. What we don’t want to admit — but should — is that they also ensure that we directly experience less." (Christine Rosen)

“The human race has susceptibility to harm but Mr. Zuckerberg has attained an unenviable record: he has done more harm to the human race than anybody else his age.” (Eben Moglen)

"God is omnipresent. Facebook comes in second." (Ironic Catholic)

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity." (Albert Einstein)

"Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards." (Aldous Huxley)

"Technology... is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other." (Carrie Snow)

"It is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome." (T.S. Eliot, about radio)

"Soon silence will have passed into legend. Man has turned his back on silence. Day after day he invents machines and devices that increase noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation." (Jean Arp)

"The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do." (B. F. Skinner)

"We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology, in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology." (Carl Sagan)

"Television to brainwash us all and Internet to eliminate any last resistance." (Paul Carvel)

"Technology... the knack of so arranging the world that we don't have to experience it." (Max Frisch)

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